Reflection for the week

If I'm being totally honest with myself, then I have to admit that I've been struggling with a few things this week. Reading some of the Genesis chapters have really bothered me. The whole "my wife is my sister" thing and then just today... the whole story of "Hey, you're going to marry the sister and not your betrothed" followed by "Leah and Rebecca fight over who's going to be a baby mama so they offer up their maids" thing is just ALL JACKED UP.

I have not enjoyed the way that women have been treated in the readings. I find it offensive. I liken it to the way that women are currently treated in the Middle East, I don't think attitudes there have changed overmuch in the last 2,000 years.

I refuse to be treated as less because I have a vagina. I refuse to believe that God is a God that believes that I deserve to be treated as property or be submissive to another because of the way He made me. I utterly refute it. I believe that I, as Woman, was created to be the complement to and helpmate of Man. The scripture was very clear on that. I am not less than my husband, or my father, and I am worthy of the same respect. Period.

I also have to be candid that in my many years volunteering to help raped and abused women have also heavily reinforced these beliefs. I have seen too many women and children, just running to survive, and struggling with the belief that a) they deserve it and b) they should honor their husband above their personal safety. Why do women go back to their abusers? I can't tell you how many of them told me they felt it was their duty as a Christian to return.

I suppose it was because of this heightened sensibility that what happened today at church just struck me badly. Today, our pastor announced three candidates to become senior leaders of our church. Now, I have nothing against these men. These men have worked their rear ends off to serve the church. I have nothing but love and respect for them. I do believe that they embody everything the church stands for. I have no problems with their appointments.

What I do have a giant problem with, and I own this as something that is likely my OWN issue, is that I stood looking at a leadership team of all men.

I love my church for many reasons, one of which is that it is nontraditional. Another is that is unconditionally loving of all people. So my utter disappointment that I was looking at very traditional all-male Christian lineup. It was a complete and total turn-off. I felt angry - and for lack of a finer term on it, betrayed.

I pray for guidance and reconciliation on this.