Day 17

Gen 42 & 43/ Luke 17/ Psalm 5

So, I read about Joseph.  And I'm not in denial...I should be on a show called The Fair Factor.  Lately in my reading, (and in AW's also...I guess since she called me out...or maybe it's my guilt:)  I've read about God working on this very issue. I read about Joseph and how his life sucked.  He got thrown into a hole.  One of his brothers stuck up for him so that they didn't kill him but then they sold him into slavery.  He was a servant and rocked that job and got promoted then lied about by a crazy woman. Went to jail, again rose about circumstances and the unfairness (HUGE) to gain a position as Pharaoh's right hand man.  He ends up forgiving his brothers, not even rubbing it in their faces but offering them a huge meal, after he throws them in jail and makes them go get their other brother.  They did have a little crap to go through.  I haven't gotten to the FORGIVE reveal yet but still.....

Then in Luke it talked about forgiving and forgiving and yep still forgiving.

I don't get it.  I don't get how someone can live a life totally different than the one he should have lived.  He was the favored son but becomes the captured slaved.  His heart is tender to God and his brothers.   He is not resentful or pouty or reminding them of their wrongs and the life he has suffered because of their actions.  Man, I feel like a jerk.  I have a hard time forgiving and letting go and forgetting stupid stuff.  I really feel like God is working on me with this.  I want to be submissive to that.  I saw a tweet from a friend that was the verse Exodus 14:14, The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be silent.  That was a great reminder for me in life. I don't have to win. I don't have to be right.  I don't have to be fair.  Not even in battles, but in everyday life.

And then I read Psalm 5.  And these verses stick out.
11 But you’ll welcome us with open arms 

when we run for cover to you. 
Let the party last all night! 
Stand guard over our celebration.

12 You are famous, God, for welcoming God-seekers, 
for decking us out in delight. 

I want to be a God seeker. I want to be running to His cover, not worried about the circumstances of life around me.  I don't want to compare or measure up to my friends...I want to just fall into God's arms where His love is relentless and extravagant and unconditional.  I blogged on my personal blog a few days ago about some of this same stuff and one of my friends challenged me. Her take on my blog was that I was worried that  others won't love me for who I am and then asked if I felt that way about God's love.  It kind of took me back.  I've never really thought of that.  I don't think that I'm insecure or worried that He will not love me.  But at times I do feel like I have to do do do because I think I'm supposed to and that's how I make myself okay.  Maybe I don't read the Bible or pray as much as I should but dag-gone-it I try to be the "end all" for everyone and will change my schedule to accommodate others to make sure everybody's happy and I'll agree with just about whatever others say so everyone stays happy and that makes me good with God.  That's kind of sick and twisted because its goes against the very nature of who God is.  He calls us to a life that is different and not the norm.  

I don't know...just some thoughts this morning.  Not sure if they even make sense.  


HL