Day 58

All of this talk in the Old Testament about purification and clean/ unclean.... it's ironic to me that they had to "do" so much to make themselves presentable and now we don't. We just come as we are.

I'm really digging the Proverbs....maybe it's because they're so short.

Caught up as well

Couple of things: I'll be happy when Leviticus is over. I'm sure all this scripture had a point back in the day; but today it just seems like crazy talk. And I still can't blame the Pharisees for their confusion over Jesus - you read Leviticus, and you can see they were following what Moses said to the letter. Jesus comes along and turns everything on its head - it's not surprising they doubted him.

Second, Psalms - whoever wrote it is a whiny puss. Good grief. You just want to shake that person and be like, "Get out of your head! Go walk in the sunshine! Stop obsessing and you might feel God's love!!"

That's my Bible thoughts through now.

Love you.

reflection

So, I'm caught up and still haven't blogged. I had a very reflective day today...kind of weird.  I had an epiphany about a relationship...that sounds alot more dramatic than it was. It boils down to, I can't control others and others don't play by my rules and I have to be okay with that and cut the cord in some situations.  Kind of freeing when I think about it that way.  

We need to catch up....I'm not cutting the cord on you...as if!!

Love ya girl!

HL

54

I've been reading and I'm up to date...need to blog more.

Okay so I kind of skipped all the "cleansing" rituals.

I love that Jesus is a nightowl!!  When the disciples didn't understand and it says there hearts were hardened. I wonder what that means.  They saw and were actual witnesses to so many wonderful things. How could their hearts be hardened?

Jesus was so busy.  I feel bad for Him...it's almost as if people were using Him for what He could do.  I guess that's still the way it is.  We pray that He would do what we want....I want to be selfless...I'm not.

Love makes up for all offenses...nice!!

Day 53 and 54

A whole verse on skin lesions. That was fun.

I liked the phrase "love pulls a quilt over bickering."

Day 51

Poor Aaron and his sons. I'd be totally confused by all of this too.
The story with the pigs was a little weird too.

Day 50

Yay! I'm finally all caught up to the day I'm supposed to be reading!! :) WOOOOOO!

So... is this where the concept of ordination comes from? Do they still do it this way, where you're secluded for 7 days? I'm sure they aren't splashing blood or waving fat anymore.

Oh, I really like this phrase "You're a joke with no punch line." I'm totally going to use that the next time someone makes me really mad. Who knew the Bible would inspire a witty retort?

Day 48 and 49

I'll be honest. I just skimmed all the "sacrifice an animal very specifically" stuff in Leviticus. I can't keep all these offerings straight. Does any modern-day religion still follow these? Just curious.

I still think Jesus is totally BA. :)

Although I do have to say I feel kind of sorry for the Pharisees. When Jesus came, he really WAS kind of doing the opposite of some of that stuff in the Old Testament. It's pretty obvious to me when we read the Jesus passages with the Old Testament passages in the same day. Like, earlier in one of the weeks, Moses was pretty strict about "don't do anything on the Sabbath or you'll be doomed forever and ever" (I'm paraphrasing). And Jesus comes and he's all like, "You morons! Help people! Eat if you're hungry! Duuuuh!" (Also paraphrasing here.) I really can't blame the Pharisees for being all offended and hard-hearted. It's pretty radical, even though Jesus clearly was holy. It's hard for people to change their beliefs on a dime in a big leap of faith.

Of course, none of that excuses them from trying to destroy Jesus.

Loved this part of Psalms: 5 God’s love is meteoric,
his loyalty astronomic,6 His purpose titanic,
his verdicts oceanic"

48 & 49

Okay...all the sacrifice talk...I kind of zone out.  I know that's important and meant a lot back in the day but it's hard for me to connect with that.

Day 47

Leviticus 2. Mmm. Grain offering fried in oil. Mmmm.
Leviticus 3. I'm glad all the fat belongs to God. He can come have mine any way.

Day 46

Hey, Mark! I'm in a new book! Woo!

I don't have a lot to say about this day other than it was nice to see some of the scripture we've covered in church in my readings.

45 & 46

Okay so in Matthew 28:17  When they saw him, they worshiped him—but some of them doubted!


What in the world??!!  They saw yet still doubted. I so don't want that to be me in life. I don't want to doubt. I want to believe and have faith.  That's hard at time but God has showed up in my life time and time again.


I love all the rescue talk in the Psalms today.


I love in Mark that they said Jesus taught with great authority unlike the other religious scholars.  Interesting.


Leviticus 2....why does it say "don't forget salt to forget the covenant of God??"


And the sacrifices and instructions gross me out a little bit.  I'm glad we don't have to do that...ugh!


I love that Jesus got away by himself to pray.  We all need that solitude.  


I love the story of the friends lowering down their paralyzed friend through the hole they made in the roof...I love that demonstration of love, belief, and friendship.


The Psalmist is funny....a couple of days ago he was thanking and praising God for tearing down his enemies and now he's saying, "how long are you going to make me wait?"  I flip flop like that too. 


Psalms 9:17  “Stolen water is refreshing; food eaten in secret tastes the best!”  I have to admit...I have eaten food in secret before...bad idea I guess:)

Day 43, 44

I love the talk about the Sabbath. I love that we are instructed to rest and enjoy and just be...I'm not so good at that.

I'm a little sick  of all the construction/architecture talk too.  I do love on day 44 that everyone who was moved by the Spirit helped and contributed their talents and gifts to help build and do.  Together is better:) I love that what they gave was more than enough.

I get sad reading the crucifixion story.

I love the proverbs...the wise love correction...I need to work on that...I don't so much love correction.

Day 45

Nothing much to remark on here. I didn't know about the bribe to the soldiers before. That was new.

Day 44

Still loving the Proverbs:

7 If you reason with an arrogant cynic, you’ll get slapped in the face;
confront bad behavior and get a kick in the shins.8 So don’t waste your time on a scoffer;
all you’ll get for your pains is abuse.
But if you correct those who care about life,
that’s different—they’ll love you for it!

Day 43

I think my buddy Pontius Pilates completely copped out on his responsibility by washing his hands and delivering Jesus to the crowd to be judge and jury. It's a poor leader that feeds into the hands of a mindless mob. We, in leadership, are charged with upholding what is right even when it's unpopular. I thought that was crap.

Day 42

This one in particular resonated with me today, because this is day two where I've just been exhausted:

33 Mark a life of discipline and live wisely;
don’t squander your precious life.34 Blessed the man, blessed the woman, who listens to me,
awake and ready for me each morning,
alert and responsive as I start my day’s work.

If there's one thing I'm really not very good at - it's waking up alert, responsive, and ready to start God's work for the day. I'm really more of a giant slug. The last two days, I think I've hit the snooze button at least 6 times, and both times after turning it off tried to think of a good reason I'd need to work from home so I could go back to sleep for a little while. 

Tomorrow I'll focus on being awake and ready for God, see if that helps.

Day 41

I find the figure of Judas fascinating. I watched a program on one of the History channels or something like that how they had found a gospel of Judas. It gave a different perspective - one where Jesus had taken Judas aside and told him his was the hardest course of all - that Jesus needed Judas to betray him. I don't know what I believe but I do find his role in the Bible very fascinating.

What would it take to betray someone you gave everything up to follow? These scriptures make it sound so easy, but in my heart I wonder if that could be true.

Day 40

I have to say, in all honesty, if I were in the wilderness with Moses and he started saying all those things about how to slaughter the bulls and the rams with burning innards and fat and waving things around - I'd really start to question my decision and my faith. That whole first passage from Exodus seems a little wack-a-doodle. Like, more of a rant from a crazy man who has been in the woods too long and a little less ordained from God.

Day 37

God was so specific about how he wanted everything.  The throwing blood on the people kind of wigs me out a little.

Watering

I have a story in my heart that I need to tell tonight before I sleep. (Which can't come soon enough, really - I'm worn out.)

Today, he talked about watering. The context, of course, was about watering one's spirituality, one's walk with Christ.

And I think one of the quotes was something along the lines of, "Watering is one of the most boring activities ever. If you're lucky, you might see a bug."

There are moments in life where a memory is so powerful, that it takes you over. That you cannot see in front of you, your own ghosts so crowded in your vision.

There are many dark times in my life. One of the ones that take the forefront of my memory is the time after I buried my first child. Now, it wasn't a proper burial, because there was nothing left to bury. Nothing they would let me take, let me hold, let me see.

I was at about 28 weeks when he died. I won't go into too much detail, that's a story for another day I suppose. Another forceful memory. Suffice it to say that I was Lost. And yes, that's capital L on purpose. I could not sleep. I would not eat. I could barely put one foot in front of the other. I stopped answering the phone. I watched a lot of TV. I didn't go to work... and I didn't care.

I walked the halls. The doorway. The walking dead.

As you know, when you are in a dark time, God doesn't move things on your schedule. He moves it on His. And one thing happened after another.

April - we lose our child
May - our lease expires
June - unable to make a decision, or move, or think, we move in with my parents
July - my father has a major stoke

And this is what I think of when I think of watering. I had nothing. Or at least, I felt like I had nothing. In reality, I had a good man who loved me, and parents that tolerated me, a cat. I had a cat. He was a good cat. And a window. That I looked out of, all day. The same that I had looked out as a teenager.

Nothingness. Stuck. Drugged. Xanax. Sleeping pills. Valium.

And there I was, one morning, staring awake out the window, waiting for the sun to rise and the day to start. My husband at the time, asleep beside me, spooning me, as I looked out the window and waited for my life to pass me by.

A knock on the door. My mother. She comes in. She says, I think your father has had a stroke. She says, The ambulance is on its way.

A moment like a mirror shattering. It all falls away.
I stand up. I walk. I will help, I say, let me help.

Please let me help. I want to help.

Something in me, hard like iron, bitter like biting on tinfoil. It rises to the surface, it straightens my spine. I can hold this family together, I always have, this is a part I know.

Now, my dad really had had a stroke. He was paralyzed on his left side. Months in rehab. Calls from the hospital psychiatrist. Hide his knives, take the key to the gun safe. We worry for him. We worry he can't make it back, we worry for his ego. At this time, though, I did not know how the story would end. All I knew was that it was my job to keep the house together. To clean, to cook, to pay the bills.

And to water the flowers.

Right before we'd moved in, my parents had paid a landscaper to do their whole yard over. Little purple flowers everywhere. Dianthus. Shrubs. Hostas. And a vegetable garden. Tomatos, everywhere. It was all they grew.

Once a day, in the evenings, I would go water the plants. It was a time of peace for me. I could watch the water fall. Bead off the leaves. Drip down, like a shower on the parched earth. The patter of the drops on the dirt. The hot August wind in Virginia on my face, my legs. So hot, so humid. The sound of lawnmovers, children playing blocks away. The tree frogs beginning to chirp. Watering. Watching. Nurturing.

Funny, though. Never wondering if the plants would grow. Never doubting. Never worrying. It was the one time of the way where I couldn't do anything wrong.

Even now, here, 12 years later, I still feel that same feeling of quiet when I water my yard. Listening. Letting life be.
Watering my plants.

Day 39

The clothing part bored me too - but at least God finally insisted on underwear. Whew. I was worried about that.

OK, that's enough Bible for this morning.

Day 38

All this architecture and building talk is kind of boring.

I liked some of the Psalms today: 4 Free me from hidden traps;
I want to hide in you.5 I’ve put my life in your hands.
You won’t drop me,
you’ll never let me down.6 I hate all this silly religion,
but you, God, I trust."

That pretty much sums up how I feel. I do hate all this silly religion but I do trust in God. 

Day 37

What does God have against yeast? <--- random thought

End times readings today, first the Ark of the Covenant being described (I couldn't stop thinking of Indiana Jones). Then the Matthew reading about the return of the son.

Hmm.

Day 36

Ok...I'm going to try to read a couple of more days later!!

One part that struck me was the part talking about the end days and false prophets and how people who know better will be turned by lying preachers.  I have family members that have done this and have bought into there are some who are "chose" and some who are not...the whole predestination deal.  It makes me sad.

Day 36

OK, this amused me that this was actually spelled out in the Bible: "19 “Anyone who has sexual relations with an animal must certainly be put to death"

Um, yeah. Disgust. Maybe not death, though. But ick!

This one is along the same "ick" lines: 31 “You must be my holy people. Therefore, do not eat any animal that has been torn up and killed by wild animals. Throw it to the dogs."

I mean, if you're hungry enough to eat what's basically roadkill... (leaving thought unfinished)

This part made me think of the whole illegal immigrant debate going on all over our country right now: "9  “You must not oppress foreigners. You know what it’s like to be a foreigner, for you yourselves were once foreigners in the land of Egypt." Technically, all you white people were foreigners. My people have always been here. And we were nice.


Proverbs is kind of on a tear about immoral women at the moment... hope there's a passage about men who are pigs coming up...

Day 34 and 35

Nothing grabbed in me in Day 34. All I could think of on Day 35 with this passage

"25 If you use stones to build my altar, use only natural, uncut stones. Do not shape the stones with a tool, for that would make the altar unfit for holy use. 26 And do not approach my altar by going up steps. If you do, someone might look up under your clothing and see your nakedness."

Was, "Don't they wear underwear back in biblical times?!?!"

Also, the whole concept of slavery being sanctioned and having set rules by God really strikes me as weird. And wrong.


I also liked this in Proverbs: "4  Love wisdom like a sister; make insight a beloved member of your family."

almost caught up

I'm almost caught up...i'm not journaling...just reading.  Man, this old testament stuff is different...the whole don't walk up steps to the altar so noone can look up your robe and see your nakedness.  Who thought of that?  It's interesting and I wonder sometimes how the interpretation of scripture happened.  Interesting.  I'm caught up to day 35.  By mid next week, I'll be caught up:)
HL

Day 33

Not much here for me to remark upon either.

Day 32

Nothing much stood out. Moses parted the red sea today.

Catch Up

Matthew 17
Okay so I never noticed the whole, "go down to the lake, catch a fish, the fish will have a coin in it's mouth."  That's funny!!  I sometimes wonder if I take God seriously enough.  I know it's a different time but I love how people had so much faith in Jesus that they brought afflicted people to Him.

Exodus 4
I don't get why Moses' wife had to circumcise the baby at that time.

I love Psalms 23 in The Message:)

Proverbs 6:16-19
16  There are six things the Lord hates— no, seven things he detests;

17  haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent,

18  a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong,

19  a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family.


That might end it for me today. I should be caught up by the end of this week.  Very interesting stuff. I'm trying to read with news eyes.

Day 31

Proverbs 6 was what stood out to me in this reading. "12  What are worthless and wicked people like? They are constant liars,


13  signaling their deceit with a wink of the eye, a nudge of the foot, or the wiggle of fingers.

14  Their perverted hearts plot evil, and they constantly stir up trouble.

15  But they will be destroyed suddenly, broken in an instant beyond all hope of healing."

I have a hard time with worthless and wicked people - I struggle with the concept of "fairness" as well. I am thinking of very specific instances where I have been wronged and others I love have been wronged by worthless and wicked people. The avenger in me wants to rise up and serve justice - but that is God's place, not mine, isn't it?

Day 30

Nothing really stood out to me today other than how sorry I feel for those poor Egyptians. I'm at the part where God is going to strike down the first born sons of all of the Egyptians because Pharoah is a stubborn ass. Of course, God is making him a stubborn ass to make a point, so it's not like it's Pharoah's fault.

Day 29

Proverbs 6 made me think of Dave Ramsey and the financial freedom thing: "1 Dear friend, if you’ve gone into hock with your neighbor
or locked yourself into a deal with a stranger,2 If you’ve impulsively promised the shirt off your back
and now find yourself shivering out in the cold,3 Friend, don’t waste a minute, get yourself out of that mess.
You’re in that man’s clutches!
Go, put on a long face; act desperate.4 Don’t procrastinate—
there’s no time to lose.5 Run like a deer from the hunter,
fly like a bird from the trapper!"

That's about all I have for this day's reading.

Day 28

Yeesh, Moses is sounding a little like Jeff Goldblum in this passage, "10 Then God said to Moses,11 “Go and speak to Pharaoh king of Egypt so that he will release the Israelites from his land.”12 Moses answered God, “Look—the Israelites won’t even listen to me. How do you expect Pharaoh to? And besides, I stutter.”"

Next he'll be saying, "Go faster, must go faster."

I also thought the whole passage about marriage was interesting: "1 When Jesus had completed these teachings, he left Galilee and crossed the region of Judea on the other side of the Jordan.2 Great crowds followed him there, and he healed them.3 One day the Pharisees were badgering him: “Is it legal for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?”4 He answered, “Haven’t you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female?5 And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one.6 Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart.”7 They shot back in rebuttal, “If that’s so, why did Moses give instructions for divorce papers and divorce procedures?”8 Jesus said, “Moses provided for divorce as a concession to your hardheartedness, but it is not part of God’s original plan.9 I’m holding you to the original plan, and holding you liable for adultery if you divorce your faithful wife and then marry someone else. I make an exception in cases where the spouse has committed adultery.”10 Jesus’ disciples objected, “If those are the terms of marriage, we’re stuck. Why get married?”11 But Jesus said, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone.12 Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked—or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.” 

I like the idea of "growing into the largeness of marriage."

Day 27

Matthew 18. "15  “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. 17 If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector."

I feel like I'm completely missing the context of this. Seems kind of harsh. Is this sin, like one of the 10 commandments sin? Is this where the concept of "intervention" comes from?

My only other thought on this day was more hilarious (to me) (because I'm immature). It was from the Proverbs reading: "18  Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19  She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love." Poor Steve. I doubt my little breasts always satisfy him. And I can't say I've ever been a graceful doe.


But I thought the passage was beautiful.

God working through me

I have to tell this story, I suppose this is my weekly rant. (Although I'm not going to talk about my vagina, I promise.)

My sister and I are going to Vegas in April on a sisters' only trip. She is very excited and wants to rent runway dresses for the two of us to wear. I've been hemming and hawing on it, because I have body image issues. I feel like I'm a big fat, fat ass. And I mean that literally. I have great arms and legs, like my face - it's that whole middle part that feels fat and ugly to me.

Normally, I run - but post-surgery and with Dallas covered in ice and snow for a week, I haven't been running as much as I want to. I did join Weight Watchers, I'm just still hit-or-miss on doing it in any given day.

Since we've been doing this Bible program together, I've been in the habit of "owning" any emotions I happen to have when I'm having them. So I owned it to my sister. I told her how young, hot, and thin she was and how I was scared of being her "fat old sidekick." In the process of telling her how I feel, I realized my own insecurities don't even matter. If she feels beautiful and is having fun, I'm so proud to be with her. I love her, and that's all that really matters.

I really felt like God was changing me through the experience. So I had to share.

Day 26

...of the ONE YEAR BIBLE plan! (Just wanted to be clear on that.)

I just finished the Moses and the burning bush story, and Jesus telling his disciples that he will be betrayed in three days. 

Catch Up

So AW and I have both been reading the Bible but totally different plans.  I made a valiant attempt to completely catch up.  I've got a little bit to go but by next week should be good in the hood.

I read a lot of Matthew and a lot of Proverbs. I agree with AW, I love the Proverbs...such pearls of wisdom & insight!

Day 21

I love the last line in chapter 2 of Exodus.   God saw what was going on with Israel. God understood. 
I love that God sees and understands;)


I love the Psalms. I love reading David's writing.  He was a man after God's own heart but struggled in so many ways.  I feel like I can relate to him:)


That's all I got.  I'm trying to catch up.  


HL

Day 25

Yay! The story of Moses! There's one I know! :)

Day 24

The only thing that stood out to me was Proverbs 4. 24 Don’t talk out of both sides of your mouth;
avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip.25 Keep your eyes straight ahead;
ignore all sideshow distractions.

I like the "sideshow distractions" phrase. 

Day 23

What's with the "put your hand on my thigh" thing when making a vow? I've read that a few times now, and it sounds like they're cupping each others' balls or something when they make a pact between men. I'm sure that's not right, but this is like, the third time I've read something about "swearing by putting the hand on the thigh or under the thigh."

I do like clueless Peter. Matthew 15. "15 Peter said, “I don’t get it. Put it in plain language.”16 Jesus replied, “You too? Are you being willfully stupid?17 Don’t you know that anything that is swallowed works its way through the intestines and is finally defecated?18 But what comes out of the mouth gets its start in the heart.19 It’s from the heart that we vomit up evil arguments, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, lies, and cussing.20 That’s what pollutes. Eating or not eating certain foods, washing or not washing your hands—that’s neither here nor there.""

Day 22

Something is wacky. Day 21 was the head on a platter one. I said it was Day 20. I'm probably the wacky part here.

Anyway, I'm on Day 22 now.

I like the whole story of Joesph and his brothers. I also like the story of Peter who joined Jesus walking on the water and then freaked out that he was walking on the water. :)

Day 20

Matthew 14. Ew. Who wants someone's head on a platter? I mean, I've hated people in my life, really hated them - but I've never wanted their head on a platter. Disgust.

I also love that in the Message version, Wisdom is female. "Throw your arms around her!"

January 19 regular plan

Nothing much stood out for me today. (Other than reading "booby prize" because I'm mentally a 12-year-old boy and giggled at the word "booby.")

January 18 regular plan

I think I'm catching up to you, now. I read the story of Joesph and how his brothers sold him into slavery.

Wow, Jesus was kind of a BA! Check out this from Matthew: "30 “This is war, and there is no neutral ground. If you’re not on my side, you’re the enemy; if you’re not helping, you’re making things worse." Go, Jesus! You tell 'em!!

Or this one: "36 Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously.37 Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.”

That is SO Chuck Norris. I'm so impressed.